Dear Little Princess...

just finished updating my friendster profile. finally! I better sleep early tonight... can feel the pimples about to pop out beneath the skin on my forehead. -eewks- disgusting.

saw the pic 2d took together with miss andrainy on her wedding day in friendster... gosh. so cute. haha. Miss andrainy.. okays, she used to be Miss.. now she is Mrs dunnoe what with a baby... how things can really change... blah.

sunday... is electone and yoga day... and yesh, I overslept and missed my electone lesson. Thank goodness my teacher is forgiving. =) I keep smiling to myself during yoga today... hahaha. gonecase. =)

I am looking forward to school tmr! Seeing my classmates... so exciting. hahaha. everyday feels different with them cos' they are just such a... FUN bunch of people... and there is choir practice tmr! wheee!!! The image of me poring over the scores intently to catch up with the pamugan lyrics is amusing me now. I am really going CRAZY.

Maybe this is the reverse effect of my heartbroken incident. haha.

There is going to be so much going on 11 Feb and 12 Feb.. Guohao is going let people pick friday or sunday for 4d class outing. I bet most pple will choose fri. I can't! There is the dhschoir reunion which I really really hope will work out. yars. so torn in between.. You KNOW what yayan said... She wants Friday cos' some people might wanna go out with their significant somebodies on Sunday as Mon is Valentine's Day. HAHAHA. She is thoughtful to have settled the worries of the others. heehe. Anyway, dhschoir juniors reading this, just pretend u don't know abt this dinner thingy yet... ahaha. will officially tell u peeps when all is confirmed. =) Plus, I am not really sure whether u peeps wanna join us, the older, outdated batches... heez.

yesyesyes. I am influencing zhenhui to be crazy too! hahaha. He suddenly asked whether i live near berdine in hougang.. He said he can look for us if he goes hougang next time. I was like how come you will come hougang.(expecting some ans like visiting relatives during cny) He said he "duno??!!" He continued,"if i bo liao wander arnd till hougang den can zao ni men mah"
totally thOink. oh mans.

oh, it's zhou chu's birthday today! Happy birthday girl! don't think she reads blog. yeahs, gonna write her a card and perhaps buy her a pressie too. I just told Guohao what i think happened to her in vj. The poor guy is so defensive and protective of her. whatever it is, sent a sms... I got the kinda sixth sense feeling that she isn't feeling very happy these few days? hmmm. oh well. I'll try my best to cheer her up if she is really sad... but sometimes.. feel weird too. argh. I am being incoherent again. AMANDA, GET OUT!!! (dhschoir private joke) haha.

I shall go do my tutorials... Next few days, I think I will be quite busy... so have to do in advance! -woohoo-

Dear Little Princess...

I am EXHAUSTED. very tired. haha. Today was a pretty normal day. Choir practice! yupps. We learnt two new chinese songs and syf set piece, Sunset. I remember how my juniors sang it. Couldn't help but smile when I am learning the song. yea, I was thinking about how they complained to me that how sucky sunset was. I thought it was quite boring too. However, during combined prac, mr kwei woah... He's really good. like der. Yar. He is able to make such a seemingly boring song interesting... talking about using theatre approach... I got so excited. felt so tempted to write a story or something. feel the zzz zz zzu searing through my brain. The chinese song sounded potentially beautiful, when combined. You know what, my favourite song so far really has to be Uri Tsafon. =) It's so romantic and sad... something that dictates a tryst... kwei said sth about sending fragrance of your love to your loved ones who are prob miles and miles away... The first thing that came to my mind was the tsunami tragedy... The people feeling bewildered and lost on foreign lands, the heartache, the tears when they couldn't find even the bodies of their friends and families... Their love seeping onto every grain of sand on the once-pristine beaches, wafting into the sombre, salty air and creeping stealthily to every nook, every abyss... hoping that this love could reach as far as wherever the souls of their loved ones are...
-argh-

So overall, it was good practice and I like mr kwei's idea of letting year ones having combined for pamugan by ourselves so as to retain the spark of the song. It will help us to really grasp the song, i guess. I still find myself getting tongue-tied with the words. haha.

oh oh! I had a pleasant surprise today... -megawatt smiles- I am in the games comm. yup yup. Like what Betty said, we are really really lucky cos' so many other people signed up. So we are supposed to organise games... and design choir tee! gosh, I am v v v EXCITED. -fans myself- yars. I must really get my brain working... yup. it's kinda rusty now. I really like planning stuff like that! still v v v EXCITED. heez. rayner and i are the i/cs and there are marie, samantha, nigel and Irvin too! First discussion on mon after prac. lalala~ let's hope this thing works out fine. I feel a lil' stress cos' if it's not fun, then... pple will point fingers at games comm... IT'S OKAYS. -grins- Stress is motivation. tada!

I feel like catching up with so many people... Pb tuanbai on 12 Feb, dhschoir reunion tentatively on 11 feb, 4D class outing... is on 11 feb, but i am trying to convince guohao to change! haha. I am so evil. I really wanna meet 2d peeps too! I shall get jon guo to organise. He said we should eat in the chinese way, on round table, so that everyone can talk. Definitely. Yizhin smsed me yesterday whether the pri school peeps can make it for a lunch together or sth.. I wanna meet them too! and erm...my dhschoir buddies.. Joanna, Huiyi, Berdine Geh. hahaha. oh... and Jimson too. You peeps have been MISSED!

I think my class is going to watch "Finding Neverland"... Let's hope they make it this thurs. cos' the movie seems really nice and even Mr Harris recommended it. =)

From the remaining of this week onwards, I shall PLAN and stop squandering my time away. I promise. I want so many things and yeah, the only way, is to work hard for them.


P.S After the prac, marie told Marcus that she asked some guy from Aranda OG and confirmed sth abt somebody. I was like... hmmm.. am i thinking what they are thinking... Anyway, Marcus spent quite some time getting what Marie meant. In the end, he blurted out.. oh, u mean...-censored-
Marie was kinda embarassed cos' I know the person. I was like OH, U MEAN U ALL KNOW TOO. I didn't know news can spread so fast. hmmm.. so I explained to them.. okays, not really explained, but gave my point of view. I kept stressing on the nicer parts then the not so flattering parts. yars. don't want people to form a bad impression of the person too. hmmm. I am quite surprised how they know. hmmmm... People can always change for the better, can't they? We all have flaws and shortcomings. hmmmm.

Dear Little Princess...

I am heartbroken.

-bites bottom lip-


oh nvm. Never know I will be affected. As quoted from Serene, ASHAMED to be too. It's okay!!! =) I will probably laugh at myself for being erm.. sad after a few months. hahaha. At that POINT, you could prob hear the shattering of my heart. Actually I don't feel much now. It is just AT THAT POINT OF TIME. haha. Yup. Serene will slaughter me for writing too much so I should just stop at here.=p


okays. nothing much happened yesterday. I was just pretty irritated that I couldn't see tagboards. Berdine told me huiyi tagged to say that she is in rj chorale! =) Congrats girl!!! mans, miss you all eh. yups. went back to dhs yesterday. only stayed for a while cos berdine dearie had to leave for something else. I think they sounded not bad. haha. Exchanged a few words with miss poh. She was like "Welcome back sec fours" Pei en hahaha, exclaimed, we are not sec fours anymore!! WOAH. How time flies. Clinched. But yeah. oh! then gave my laogong a HUGGIE! She is so sweet lar. haha. and talked to jasmine (liu) too... yup. yup. didn't really talk to the juniors a lot. had to leave after a while... U guys did improve! so keep up the good work!


hahaha. You know what, sometimes, I still feel apprehensive about going into choir room. Sometimes, it's fine. Sometimes, I just can't. heehe. argh... talking rubbish. Anyway, biying tried to teach me bridge. do you know how confusing it is... my puny little brain couldn't really absorb. haha. okayys.


well, I have to pack my lit files for dinghong. Poor boy... need to study for literature test. yeah.. what shihui told me yesterday kinda affected me too. I don't know... erm. I think sometimes it's good to just err.. open up and accept? I shall remember to speak mandarin to shihui most of the time, cos it makes her feel comfortable. =) Anyway, you know if i see weilin and talk to him, I will automatically switch to Mandarin. Hahaha. I am quite bilingual in that sense. woohoo^-^

Dear Little Princess...

Channel 5 is showing American Idol now. haha. I don't really have the patience to watch, shall wait until they've selected the top thirty or something.

I actually typed an entry about what happened yesterday. It was half-done. I was too tired to complete it. It seemed to be quite eventful but I couldn't really remember now. wells, I could recall just that I prefer to have selective memory. Basically, I was pretty upset last morning. That kinda feeling sucked. When you're alone, (class was having tsd lecture) and you were pondering hard about a rather ahem, insensitive comment by a choir senior... argh. so I wrote a poem and hmmm.. cheeks got dampened. I was at the concourse. I don't know why... just that at that moment, I was thinking about what jc life was all about, beside the giant shift in academic side, the essence of trust and hmmm... plain 'niceness' don't really seem to be existent. That was what I was thinking about then. I tried to refrain myself from the overwhelming, sweeping depressing thoughts. yeah. But when i am sad, i am sad. I don't force myself to be happy. Anyway, I sorted out my thoughts. I was perhaps oversensitive. Then again, in dunman high, we were brought up this way, at least I was, in 2D and 4D, we are all people with big hearts and mostly love to share and give and take. I shall just block off this section of my memory cos' I don't really like to have a unfavourable impression of the senior.

well.. the prac yesterday was ok. haha. yups. We managed to cover quite a few songs.. Oh, I like the lady! lalala~ The song has full of mes. haha. according to marie... she was teasing me about it. There was sops dinner! hahaha, The seniors were telling us IQ stories and stuff that happened in Germany, the hot south african guys! hahaha. I love the sops =) okay, seriously, i think the sop seniors are really cute and animated. heehe.

yupp. I heard about the TSD GM from serene. just wanna give my classmates a -hug- I think the tsd seniors are generally nice and friendly people, just that they are probably very very stressed and worried about their prelims and tsd's reputation that they tend to think that we're still not responsible and serious enough when it comes to work. It takes time to prove them wrong. I don't think they are going against us. Put it this way. We're on different boats, but utimately we're gonna cross the river... so let's just forgive and forget yea. May peace and love descend upon the tsd family... Ohana means family and family means no one is forgotten or left behind. I remember that this was pasted on the door of PB room. -nostalgic smile-

oh oh! this is EXCITING. hahaha. Lulu and I... -eyes twinkling with mischief- think that we have the same angel/s that loves watching dvds and like eric whitacre's pices and is in Bass!!! Hee. We kinda know who are our real and adopted angels. I was telling Jiayun, I think I know who my angels are!!! I named my guesses. She just gave a smile and a shrug, refusing to tell me anything. ahaha. I finally replied to Burger King, my angels! I wrote this super long letter for them... asking them about LMT.. they were telling abt the mysterious secret admirer in their letter. heez. oh... and some other stuff that i can blabber on and on about. woohoo~ Right now, I still owe my A55 angel her reply. I am feeling VERY GUILTY. She is so nice. I like her earrings. shall wear them again tmr. =)

I didn't go for the writers' circle cos Jien and px were not planning to go after they heard how hmmm.. boring the meetings are... like recite your poems.. and people give criticisms? yeahs. On my way back, i kinda regretted not at least taking a look of how it's like, then decide whether to join or not. cos... it's like... hmm in band, u play ur instruments, hmm,.. in choir, u sing.. in writers' circle, it's quite natural that u write and recite. Maybe next week or something. hmmm.

cross country on 11 feb... I hope it ends soon cos I wanna go back dhs and have reunion lunch/dinner with dhschoir peeps. It looks like everything is quite uncertain at the moment. It's like weilin and I are trying to organise this CNY lunch or dinner with their batch, our batch and the juniors. We were more targetting at getting the these two batches informed first. hahaha. In order to make attendance as full as possible, weilin actually called his friend, captain of TJ hockey to try to change hockey training so that cheiren and zhenhui can come! hahaha.

oh yes! this is EVEN MORE EXCITING!!! Choir camp in march! I cna't wait. I signed up for games comm, don't know will get in or not. Our batch quite enthusiastic eh. Almost all the year ones signed up. Whatever it is, comm or whatever, it spells FUN. hee. so cool! Biying was talking about buying tents from Giant for the sops! The prospective of it seems so ooohlala! I hope i get to stay.. and that I shall stop terrorising the rest of the yr ones that O'lvl results are going to be released soon. ((X

REALLY TIRED. should stop here. Today, i was quite happy. haha. yupps. ohhh and we were taking pics here and there... this was actually taken with my camera phone. =p





My 'Twin' and I

We don't really look alike right... the tsd seniors think we do. haha. but we always have the same thoughts about stuff at the same time. hahaha. scary.

P.S read ling's old entries when she was in yr one, felt quite relieved that she was still adjusting at the end of january... still missing dhs a lot. I don't feel so abnormal after reading..

Dear Little Princess...

I don't feel good at this moment. don't know why. Starting to question myself the value of writing a blog and yar... oh well. Ponder about that later.

Yesterday, we passed the apology card to the seniors. hmmm. My angel wrote to me, "The apology card form your card is really really sweet. The seniors are happy(even Khairul)." Good. I hope that some of my classmates will stop bitching and just let the matter rest. It's not like I am trying to be an angel or whatever, it's like, if case's closed, then let it be yeahs.

oh... Rowell... haha. attempted to set up Fockkers Club which idealistically consists of a group of people who are fans of some seniors. Of cos, no one else in our class will do such a senseless, stupid thing. -thOink- I was like, this is crazy, laughing till my insides hurt. Rowell incredulously shot out a WHY. hee. I looked at him and said solemnly, "cos' it seems like u are sucking up to the seniors..." then continued laughing. I love being so straighforward and blunt. Not that his actions aren't obvious. oh mans, I am bitching... I am not k, just speaking the truth. If there is anything I detest, okay, dislike, to make it sound less severe, it is over-enthu peeps and bootlickers. Of cos, it is a blessing if you are naturally a spirited person. If you are not, just be friendly, not OVER. Bottomline: Be yourself. Be comfortable of what you are doing. well.. Rowell is quite all right if he is not peculiar in his some kind of thinking... and definitely, intelligent, super talented in video and computer stuff. -envious- oh, he's classmate, schoolmate for four years, I must try to make some redeeming points too.

I was pretty high after choir practice yesterday... haha. ask betty(marie). She said I am crazy. I am typing the contact list of sopranos year ones. It's quite sad that they don't give us contact list. So we decided to make one ourselves. =) The smart sops. yups. We planned to have lunch and buy the meaty stuff together erm.. on the day of bbq. oh, Lulu(steph) and I were comparing letters from our angels. WELL. We smell something FISHY. hahaha. This is so fun. lalala~ haha. oh oh! Burger King, my angels, wrote me a letter... FINALLY. heez. I haven't reply yet, shall do it later. They told me about Jianhao and the mysterious LMT. hahaha. Whoever that girl is...

Do you know how small the world is actually? How everyone is linked together by someone or something? yeahs. sorry, it just came to my mind and I feel like I have to say it. It's like... erm... Cho from senior class had the same tuition teacher as Serene and Dawn came across Serene's design site before. She actually remembered the site and now they are angel and mortal? and one of my classmate's best friend's ex is actually one of my seniors now? How bernice, my camp groupmate, in church camp, becomes my classmate now? How erm, Rayner, guy that I met for a few minutes years ago becomes my choirmate? YAR. It's like all those weird connections, make me realise that it's a small, small world after all. -nods- It is.

ok, back to the core content. A55 angel gave me this duckie cup! It is darn adorable! I love it!=)

heehe. Guess what? Our A55 mortal actually wrote to us again today. so cuteee. He gave us this bag of cookies where he wrote on the plastic cover,"Why u never write back? P.S.S This( referring to the cookies) is a BRIBE.)" hahaha. oh mans. Serene and I gave him something but didn't reply his letter, thought he would say thank you or something, then we;ll write a longer letter. hee. oh, and it's partly cos we decided to be mean and reply him S-L-O-W-L-Y. Anyway, going to write a letter for him later too! Shall show him my poems! He likes to write poems too..

-grins-

Today, I asked Marcus for a favour and he laughed horribly when he saw whom the letter was addressed to. It seemed like quite a lot of people know who their angels are, according to Marcus(or is it Irvin? can't remember who is the one who told me that today.) I told him that his mortal knows who he is, and Irvin said that his mortal knows who he is too. well, Lulu and I are erm... on our way to the great discovery too. It's still suspicion at the moment. haha. yars. I hope my mortal won't know so soon... I never really do anything so maybe still can keep my identity a secret. hee.

My class has PICTIONARY FETISH. hahaha. We keep playing it in 24 hr ROOM or outside when seniors are studying. Actually, it's they. I haven't really played yet. I watched. haha. I loveee my class. yeah. But I don't like people to be marginalised, especially nice people like Elaine, sharon and winnie. Maybe cos' they take different combination... yar so they usually wander off on their own? or is it cos' we never consider their feelings and leave them out? hmm. I don't know. and... I think in very near future, there will be people in choir who will be marginalised too... with all the cliques forming and stuff.. actually there are people in choir who are already marginalised. At least choir is not that bad, they have their own cliques, they are happy wherever they are in, and they sing well, enjoy themselves... u get what i mean, better than no cliques and hence, form a place of scattered sand. Unlike dhschoir, our commitee wasn't even united in the first place... anyway, in a class, it is different cos u can really feel the segregation. Then again, which organisation doesn't have flaws? I just hope that people will get more involved, stop feeling that they are left out, refusing to budge, but dare to take a step forward and try to be happy? arghh. I am confused, I don't know which side I am on. This will be one good gp essay topic. The controversial CLIQUE thingy.

you know, i used to feel kinda left out in pb when i first joined, under the reign of the erm... head-prefect whom i think didn't really like me. Things got better when I participated in the tcher's day dance thingy(oh my!) and ushering and dinners and yadada... I begin to love pb! and especially, under the Melody and co's leadership, they are able to make PB MOVE AS ONE and not individually as disillusioned kiw's subordinates. They take in everyone's opinions. I kinda miss the general meetings every tues morn when Melody got really animated. hahaha. yupps. and the pb camp they organised with pb songs( never in pb history i believe) they came up with... I was truly inspired by them. heehe. It's like what i learnt in PB spured me on to organise stuff to unite choir and to push for new beginnings. yups. the handover day thingy was one of my proudest achievements. -smiles sheepishly- hee. the treasure hunt thingy a bit flop la but overall, it was a long time ever since I saw the choir being so enthusiastic. just to sidetrack a lil' I wonder where are their group flags now.... hee. probably stashed away in the choir cupboards. =)

This is another super long entry. Boo.


well well well! I look forward to letter-writing and yayys, choir practice tmr! It's gonna be another long day... and there will be SOPS DINNER. -CHEERS-

P.S After writing this, I feel good.

Dear Little Princess...


Driven to tears
Once again.
By the words of others
So poignant
that it echoes in
the caverns.
A lonely tune.

Blue, solitude
loneliness and paintings
and memories,
the sun, the death
their craft, a gift
Heaven-sent,
a lingering

Power
to touch,
to wrench,
a floating cloud
its mind trapped
looking beyond the horizons,
Not.


well... another poem today. Excuse me, can someone pass me a tissue or something to stop my heart from aching... Apparently, one of my classmates stumped upon this online diary where some of our seniors (A55) pen their poems. I read. I realised how pale in comparison my poems are as compared to theirs. It's like just a few minutes ago before i wrote the poem above, this is definitely impromptu, I read a poem written by Cho, called Blue. argh. It's killing me with all the spasms of pain evoked after reading. He has simplicity to brand his style. I love Chrystal and Brandon's poems too! oh... and Dawn's. They even have erm... for e.g Cho wrote this poem, Paintings, then Chrystal added on, her own version of the poem. goodness. I think chrystal is my a55 angel cos on Khairul's blog where I apologised on behalf of the class... Chrystal said something like" Poor siying! She is not even in tsd, you know." I didn't really go around publicising that I am no longer in tsd but I told my angel. She might be my angel. I hope she is! Then I can request her to insert her lovely poems in the letters.

Shihui was telling me on sat during choir prac that she doesn't really like vj. She felt cheated. It wasn't as fun as she thought it was. I heard too that a lot of dhs peeps were kinda disappointed. When the seniors came back to dhs and showed us their victorian spirit, we were all in awe. Vj is the place most of us want to go, because it is somewhere is seemingly different from dunman. Then now, people feel cheated.

I don't.

I really really like vj.

It's a place where I meet people of my own kind and yar, different, but u know what I mean. In my class, my senior class, especially. There are people who love acting and writing poems, who have their minds drenched in insanity half of the time. Like me. In vjchoir, oh, never like dhschoir, where I needed to propangandise, pep-talk my juniors and seniors alike, to give in more effort, it is where I know everyone loves singing, wants to sing and will slog hard to sing well. It is where I make new friends whom have boundless energy and spirit and good laugh. Like me.

God, please don't take these away from me.


---------------------------------------------------------------
Blue

Blue
Was the colour
of my very first lunchbox
That I had on the first day of school
Blue was the colour of the bike
I got for my birthday
From my dad and mom.
Blue was the colour of the sky
When its spring,
When things are bright and sunny
Blue was the colour you wore
The day I discovered your lips
Tasted like honey
Blue was the colour of our car
When we “Just Got Married”.
Blue was the colour of our sofa
During the time our incomes varied
Blue was the colour of the roses
That I got you for our 52th anniversary.
Blue was the colour of the bus
Before my vision went blurry.
Now, blue is the colour the nurses are wearing,
I believe.
Blue, is the colour I want,
To remind you of me
The day I leave.


-Jonathan Cho

Painting

I never liked painting
Never did,
Never will.
Or at least I think

The paint splashes a
All over you
Well, as in me.
Not you.

And your pictures
will never turn out
the way you
want them to
At least for me,
It doesn’t.

But somehow
Painting’s much better now.
The splashes aren’t as big.
And though
The picture isn’t turning the way I want,
Painting is beautiful.
Because I’m painting you.

-Cho

I fumble with my brush.
This is my first time,
And I drip paint all over
the canvas
I can’t handle so much beauty,
Much is lost with my Careless
Strokes. You laugh
When you see my painting.
You are the shadow, wind, spirit,
Why do I even try to capture you?

-Chrystal

The door

We all live in a house
with a door we can't touch

And we all wait for someone
to open it from the outside.

-----------------------------------------------------

They wrote a lot more poems but I am too lazy to type. I still have tutorials to do. sheesh.

Dear Little Princess...

I am very scared now. 05A55 is in big trouble together with other tsd juniors...

Remember today I said I was very pissed with the class... It was cos' they were making a din in the tsd room, eating when we were not supposed to. I think Khairul was not very happy, so I quickly shushed them and gave them a piece of my mind. stormed off to the toilet and muttered under my breath that if I were the seniors, I will probably throw them out.

freak. I feel like saying the f-word la. okays, now serene thinks I shouldn't have post the comment on the senior's blog but I think otherwise. His blog is public. Even if we have done sth to apologise on Mon, they will be wondering why we are so sorry all of a sudden. We certainly didn't seem to be today. so yar. Though I admit I am a bit rash... I think the senior's hatred and anger has kinda be appeased right away. I have a feeling that he will get to it faster than us. Not against serene or anything... In case u reading this, and u feeling pek chek, we are all feeling tired, frustrated... and scared. No one wants to get onto the wrong side of the seniors.

-stay calm-

one of the goals this yr is to be able to handle 'sticky' situations. Calling Meredith first thing in the morning and let her and Rowell work things out. freak.

Dear Little Princess...

haha. Finally I'm home early! I think I will still be loitering around in school or having dinner with my classmates at this time... if I am not BROKE! hee. I forgot to ask money from my mother... and I realise I don't even have enough coins to take bus. There is no atm in school. yar, so just forget it and ask my mom to fetch me. haha. It feels weird now to be home by six pm.

Oh! This morning, I felt kinda happy...=) But it was sucky being ALONE for the first two periods cos the rest of my class were having tsd lecture. yeahs. The choir room was almost empty except for Joshua and Farah. They were talking so a bit rude to intrude. haha. So I wrote to my A55 Angel... Still thinking what to give her!

Serene and I are birds of the same feather! hahaha. Great minds think alike. Realise we have similar notions towards our treatment of our mortal. yeah. I don't know eh. My mood is a bit affected. haha. My reasoning was that cos' we "xin1 li3 bu4 ping2 heng2", not that he did anything wrong. Then again... hmmm.(elaborate later) Oh, I think PE is quite fun eh. I like long distance running. Today, Serene and I made a pact to run at the back because we were not feeling very well. haha. In the end, we overtook some of the girls. When running back, I just perservered! Serene is damn pro la. Bernice is very very pro... She has the tracker's genes. Even though I was the first five in class, the gap between I and them was like so great... hai. must go swimming and build up stamina.. I realise my tan is fading too... =( yar, no matter how I run right, I bet my napfa will still be like shit cos' I can't do inclined pull-ups!!! That is always the killer for me. hee.

hmmm! I got a bit 'pissed' with my classmates cos' some of them were leaving for parkway! I had geog lecture, u see. So bought lunch and ate in the choir room. hahaha yar. Serene bought this rotiboy thingy to give our mortal. He was nowhere in sight. Disappointed.. cos if the bread was going to be left in the 24-hrs room, it would practically rot there and make the whole room stink. Khairul was like, "I smell coffee..." He was peering over the shelves where the angels and mortals put their gifts. We offered it to Khairul. I think he wanted it. hahaha. oh mans. He is really handsome! He was leaning against the shelves, rendering his sympathy to us cos our mortal wasn't around to savour the delicious bread. Mesmerising eyes! hahaha. Can I recapture the moment again? He is not as scary and bitchy as he seemed to be. oh, please don't be mistaken, I don't have a crush on him. I think he prefer guys anyway. haha. =p A lot of girls think that he is good-looking though.

Anyway, the class stayed back to make the banner. I like my class... Full of crazy pple. and the girls are so pervertic! hehee. They and their dirty jokes. Is that what single sex schools do to them? hahaha. yar. So we tried to convince ourself that we're gonna win... but it looks like competition is quite stiff. Before I had to leave, tagged along with jeremy and steph to choir room. I was still holding that glimmer of hope that I might get something from my choir angel. To my chagrin! hmph. ohh.. there was sth about what jianhao's secret admirer? Then some code thingys on the whiteboard. I don't actually understand what was going on. But it was pretty hilarious. haha. I think I was a bit rude to want to leave choir room. it was not that i am anti-social. I am not k. hahaha. cos' I thought steph and jeremy were going home too. I simply initiated. dumbome. I didn't get to stay long still... cos' my mom called that she had arrived. Booo.. I wanna hear more about jianhao's secret admirer or sth? hahaha. There was this shaking choir doorknob thingy... darn retarded. heez.


My class do have some really rude people who love to act smart and interject when the tutor is trying to tell us sth... I was about to tell them about it after the lesson. okays.. I am kinda straightforward... but everyone will stand to benefit. yeah but serene stopped me. hmpf. oh oh!!! Mrs Christine Tan ROCKS!!! She is a very nice teacher. yups! and she loves PABLO NERUDA like me!!! HOW COOL IS THAT? Everyone should read pablo neruda! He has beautiful poems. =)


shall go read my book and find some poems online!

Dear Little Princess...

okays, I am feeling moody again. These few nights, I usually feel kinda... depressed? don't know whether it's the right word but yar.

oh! Today I wore RGS uniform. haha. got a great variety of comments from ppl. some pple said I looked better, some ppl said I looked weird. My parents both think that the colour of the uniform is disgusting and think that dhs's one is much better. haha. oh well...

Nothing much except the usual angel and mortal thingys... yups. Serene and I are wondering whether he knows or not. I think so. It is getting more and more obvious. Cos' he was in the 24 hrs room when we went in and put the gift. ohhh... and we were still baffled about the twins in A55. hahaha. well, in the letter, there was some kinda explanation for their different surnames but it seemed a lil' dubious? hee. Serene refused to believe it. yar. We spotted Khairul at the canteen there waiting for pple to sign up for Student Council... so serene went over and asked. Khairul said they are really twins... and he gave an example I can't really remember... He said in time, we will understand why their surnames are diff despite them being twins. Serene and I were like HUH. You must understand that we are now talking about tsd ppl, who could very well deceive you with their superb acting. On the other hand, Khairul sounded really serious. One more thing to add, he is very good-looking... and his features very ooohh.. but hahaha... He is more on the metrosexual side, I guess? =p

oh, Stephanie (a55) and I nominated Talia to be student councilor... She doesn't even wanna pick up the form la. She was being hesitant and stuff... Now I am thinking whether we've got the right person. I think she has certain qualities in her. but... I wanna join sc but can't... She has the opportunity and the support, and yet she doens;t know how to make use of it... so I hope she really cherishes it and be an outstanding student councilor! woohoo.

This is the nicest part of the day! My a55 angel wrote me a card and gave me a pair of earrings. ( the blue ones I wore today) She seemed really fun and someone that I can click with... =) I shall write back to her and give her sth nice too! yeahs. After that, Serene and I stayed in the 24 hrs room and talked until she had to leave for odac briefing... I went to choir room. For once, I stayed in the choir room for more than 1 minute... ooh. darn proud of myself. hahaha. and guess what, zhou chu is doing maths tutorial. You know, she actually asked me, what is the meaning of muggerish. I was like erm, like keep doing homework and stuff.. I was like groaning, why was she being so hardworking. and she ranted on about how doing homework is very important, how this will eventually help in scoring for A Levels, how we should.... blah blah blah. She made me feel so miserable. I think I have lagged far behind. I used to view Zhou Chu as a 'competitor' in our class last year. My results were initially better. Then she caught up and yar, her prelims results were also much better than me... due to my over-confidence and procastination. Yar, maybe I should listen to her. It's not like I totally neglect my studies. It is just that I don't feel it yet... the vibe to study. The thing that I admire about her is her concentration despite the choir room being so noisy. yar. ahaha. Pei en can't stop complaining to me about zc. I was like chill down, girl... she is not that bad, a very nice girl actually... I guess pei en is too 'tramatised' by her days in dhsalto.

ohh... and we learnt cloudburst. I am not very fascinated by it. I think it will sound superb when everything falls into place. but at the moment, it kinda sucks. haha. I have difficulty getting my notes. shall practise... talking about practice, it's time to play my electone again. arghh. I haven't touch it for days. bleah.

erm. I am now branded by caroline as Lala... ahhh. That girl. okays, maybe cos she ish exacting revenge... hahaha. I kept poking her whenever I see her and call her Carol and then draw one line. dumb 'sally'. that's her nickname by the way. =p Maybe one day we should have a year one choir outing... hahaha. I don't really know a lot of them esp the altos and some guys. yars.

I think I figure out why I am feeling not that good today. One, I am visualising all the bad things that will occur.. on o level results day. You know, for almost one year, I have been thinking about that very moment, when your form tcher makes eye contact with you as she hands the result slip over to you. The moment when you already can tell how you fare. freak. I am very scared that I will disappoint my teachers... Secondly, is cos' of some tactless thing I think I have done today... hmm.

ohh... I love my civic tutors! They made us play a game together as a class... we were all bundled up together... and with only NINE LEGS ON THE GROUND, we had to think of how to move as a whole towards a destination. We decided to make a caterpillar, like darn cool although it was damn disgusting cleaning the floors. hahaha. yar. We were also told to write out goals under different aspects. well, I think I am kinda ambitious, over ambitious...perhaps? I wrote two pages. I think it's cos my handwriting is very big... and i have planned all that way beforehand... I don't like to feel aimless... and right now, I am feeling exactly like this... The future seems bleak. cos even i might be in vj now, it doesn't mean I will be in after first three months... It's like a gigantic QUESTION MARK now. yars. I hate the sort of feeling.



oh yar, was talking to andy online... asked him when he would be more free... and u know.. go back visit dhschoir.. then was telling him I miss olddhschoir days.. He mentioned esp the genting times. yar yar! I love vj.. vj choir... and my class... I get along with the people.. but sometimes, I really can't help it. I think of the memories... and yar. hahaha. I still remember how we(the girls.. ling, manda... and co) sang to ziyi (the other guys had fallen asleep) over the phone till the wee hours in the morning... hahaha. I was so high then! darn. and the guys knocking on the gurls' doors and ran away...so childish. haha. bleahs. I wonder whether I am the only one missing all these... =(


P.S yars, dinghong asked me to take care of shihui cos she is very sick... -lols- oh my..


shall sign off here... all the best to me mans! and stay happy!!! Benjamin just told me a lame joke to cheer me up. ^_^

Dear Little Princess...

My prev blog design screwed up... cos I think the person who created it has stopped hosting the pictures. yar, and I have to find one to substitute asap. I don't really like the look of this. It looks very RAW. whatever it means.

Now... hahaha. I shall talk about the day after I kept smiling to myself. which is monday... Anyway, serene and I are such sweet angels. =) We made a breakfast set for our mortal! It was a well-presented package with lots of angelic niceties sealed onto it. I have a lot more stuff to say about this. But I better keep my mouth shut... because. I think serene and my identites will probably be exposed to our mortal pretty soon. Serene already knows who is her angel... and they wrote their letters addressing to the names. haha. This is crazy. and her angel is our mortal's good friend, as what we have observed. haha. so yar. good luck to us.

Had choir prac.. yays. learnt another two more songs. Then went for dinner with the choir ppl... let me see if I can remember all their names. haha. caroline, marie, mayling, sheena, gracia, reyner, nicholas, darren, minghui, gabriel, ben tan, lucas, jianhao, jonathan tiong, adrian... is that all? okays nvm. I am just trying to stretch my memory. They are nice ppl la. what can I say... choir rox!!! haha. ohh... and dear caroline shared sth with us...as in marie and I... hmmm.

oh oh! I've got mail from my choir ANGELS. One is the real one, the other isn't the real one. They call themselves Burger King. -lols- One is Burger, one is King... get it? Anyway wrote a letter to them today... It seemed quite rubbishy cos I was rushing to finish before my lecture. In future, I shall write earlier and be NEATER.

Today was an okay day... survived through the lectures and I paid attention too! I was disgusted by my performance yesterday that I decided to put in more effort for my studies. Then again, I still can't bother to do my maths tutorials. I saw some of my classmates doing them diligiently during the break... while I was busy scribbling letters to my choir and A55 angels! I wonder who is my A55 Angel... I have totally no idea who is it... whereas for choir sps, I think... I guess... yar. haha. But the sp thingy for choir continues till march hols. I don't even know whether I can stay in vj after ahem* o'level results... and I am finding it difficult to conceal my identity... share the same sentiments as Dawn (A55 senior)... feel like shouting out loud to the person "I am your angel!" whenever I see him. haha. yars. Besides being super uber duper nice to my A55 mortal, I shall not neglect the choir mortal too... yeahs.

After school today, met up with Mabel at Parkway... oh gosh... I miss that girl! We talked and shared about school stuff... yars. sometimes, when I have fun in vj... classmates and stuff... It is as if that I have no life before vj.. u get what I mean... like don't feel any connection with dhs... It is ridiculous anyway, for me to keep dredging up memories every second as I am enjoying myself with new friends... Then again, at night, when all is silent, the memories will start creeping to you... or in daylight, when I am walking alone like eg, for organ lesson... yar. That is when the thoughts roam about ferociously. As much as I like vj, I miss dunman high... how the ppl there... we just click and bahs, can be ourselves... I can be myself, be crazy and a loonybin... and they will still think it's the perfect siying. haha. Serene told me few days ago, sudeenly brought it up, that don said before in hostel or something... that he has never met someone as mad and crazy as siying. haha. -thOinks- thanks a lot, dude. Mabel told me he has a fanclub in tj now. some star basketballer... that guy oozes charisma and natural leadership qualities...as much as I hate to admit it... haha.=p (nolah, actually, he is a gentleman that I have come to respect a lot. hehs.) I came across jonathan (2d) friendster... didn't know that he has friendster... He's such a softie at heart... though it doesn't show on his face. I bet he misses the 2D days... Both his friendster pics were 2D and him. yar.

I am not sad as in sad. I am just bewildered... How can time fly so quickly (as clinched as it may sound) and leave us sometimes so stranded and trapped in minute empty spaces which provide no answer, no hints for the future... I don't know. I just feel weird. Mabel said that she heard vj peeps are very hypocritical? hmmm. I don't know. I hope that I don't become one of the hypocritical shit. shall stop spreading the bad stuff about the certain someone and getting so worked up... like what wantian said, whoever the girl she is, she won't thank you for it. Oh well, let them see for themselves his true colours... -sighs-

ohh. made a lot of trips to tsd room... I love slacking... and loitering there. haha. It is cool. and... oh gosh tsdian is tsdian. You can tell. haha. Initially, they were blasting phantom of the opera in the room and studying... haha. I wonder how they concentrated. oh! they name the rooms!!! darn cool. It is Day, night, clinic and the Twenty four hours. Very suitable names. Anyway, before serene and I left, we were the last(sribbling the last sentence for my angel), Cho was singing on top of his voice. He has a commendably good voice. I heard that he is perfect-pitch. ohh.. then he started screaming some rock song? then ended off with 'I saw mommy kissing a santa clause'... NUTCASE. hahaha. but I was laughing throughout. good. cos I miss laughing. That day, benjamin (4b 2004) crashed vj and talked to us... oh my my! He and his jokes... I found them very funny... haha. and I couldn't stop laughing... I always laughed alot in dhs. A LOT. ask my classmates. If it's some laughter or scream in the middle of class, it must be from siying. Jien used to make me laugh a lot too with her imitations of tchers. ohhh.. and renjie too. I wonder how is he eh.. He is another 'friend' that I have lost. =( I miss his singing... He has a niceee voice.. miss singing with him in class, and not paying attention in class... no wonder my results so kns in sec three and four... haha. I realise my choir juniors really really very smart... a lot of them are six, seven pointers in sec three... what the hell. I realise I am skiing from one issue to another. a bit confusing... erm.

I went to dhs to visit choir after mabel left for touch rugby. Guess what? Junboon, Vhinglok and Hui wei were there too!!! Hui wei is a relief tcher in dhs now! I can't believe my seniors are actually tchers... like so weird. (huiwei was marking assignments while listening to choir...) huiwei used to be sop leader in dhs and chinglok student conductor... it's like conjuring up an image of mayling being a relief tcher one yr later... nonono, doesn't work for me.. haha.

The choir sounds alright. Jerrold is good. I am glad we have chosen him to be our sc. He is really into details... really nail them. yeahs. on the way home, jasmine confided in me that she feels very stressed... cos' dhschoir is actually still in choral ex, despite the silver two yrs ago.. This yr is actually the crucial yr cos u will only be kicked out of choral ex when u attain two silver medals? sth like that. and she said... seniors often passed negative comments when they came back. I gave her a hug. hai. I know how it feels like... the stressed feeling. I clarified with her... it's like seniors... they've grown up, more exposed, so when they come back and listen, naturally they will be more critical... we're doing all this cos WE LOVE YOU. We really want you pple to improve. and by what I have heard today, it is not impossible to clinch the Gold again. yeahs. The only thing that i u all have to take note is... be more responsive to jerrold's instructions and comments. don't let him repeat the same stuff again and again... yar. other than that, pitching aside, you guys are fine. I hope whatever negative stuff u ppl heard, just transform them into motivation... and really prove us wrong.. that dhschoir is not going to die after mayling and my batch.. that it can always revive and go uphill =) Have a li' faith. yeahs.

I wanna write about.... yar... -censored-


I shall let a smile linger on my lips as I surrender to slumber...


=)

Dear Little Princess...

haha. here I am again! There was choir practice... ended early today. yupps. It was really great to be under nelson kwei again. haha. nice warms-up to really awaken my voice despite the sore throat. oh yar... the seniors were all clad in their sec school uniform. damn cuteeee. haha. mayling and michelle and biying with their cutie hair... hahahas.

caroline, steph(choir) and marie... have this lulu, betty and sally nicknames... and steph is trying to make me lala. haha. yes. thank you very much. -lols- the girls are crazy. =) I love choir and the friends there! my olddhsmates... peien, shihui! haha.

I love the Hebrew songs and Pamugan... no comments for Zhu li guan. It is tough. have to practise it at home but it was still quite fun to sing with that kinda chinese opera nasal tone! haha. ohhh. Marie and biying sang the solo lines for pamugan. I have once commented after carolling prac that biying's voice is very good... marie's voice too...-cheers- my fave is jiayun's. She has a very special tone. haha.


oh.u know there is this guy in choir. reyner... Last sat, (audition) he asked me whether I am joseph's friend. I was like... Joseph from ahs... choir? He said yar. I was like.. how u know me? I can't recognise u... you are...? He told me he came to dhschoir concert and i was the one who passed the tix to him... I sold tix to him. and I couldn't remember him! wah. quite impossible... How can I not remember a cute guy? hahaha. According to a senior, preferably left anonymous(heehe), she thinks that reyner is very cute as compared to other yr ones. -oops- Suddenly, the name reyner rings a bell... think joseph mentioned something like he would be asking his friend, reyner, whether he would be coming to the concert... yar. it was like three years ago eh. mans. I remember passing tix to ahs guy but not the face... hahaha. oh wells.


Anyway, after the practice, we need to draw a secret pal, sth like that.. angel -and-mortal game. haha. Then after knowing who our mortals were, the girls were like sharing.... I was helping them ask around who their mortals were. Peien was like so excited lar to find out the mortals. ahahaha. very obvious... she almost made it very obvious to the guy that steph is his angel. =p well my mortal is....... heez. very coincidental. I was like talking to serene yesterday, i think... I wondered aloud, whether choir also has angel-mortal game... and if there is, I hope I don't get these particular two persons in choir. yar.. and guess what, I got one of them. hahaha. yar. and hmmm. got far more things to add, about the year two girl seniors... heez. nvr mind. shall not say anymore. =)

VJ CHOIR ROCKS.

P.S oh peien... was complaining to me about someone... over-enthu pple.
bleahs. haii.


P.P.S I like choir practice! looking forward to monday sectionals to clean up the zhu li guan and others. ling is trying to lure me into the choir room by showing me her lit book on mon morn. hahaha. =)

P.P.P.S oh... was talking to weilin on msn.. he damn funny lar. hai . i miss the old dhschoir days! even though I used to be very irritated by the senior guys cos they were ever so... some lar, like cheiren and andy, inconsistent, with their attendance and attitude.. but still miss those days... amanda, ling, kaiyi, weiheen, qimei... and lots more... I am trying to organise one gathering where a lot of them can make it to a dhschoir practice. hai. but like very difficult. =) nvr mind. I shall still try.

P.P.P.P.S oh... Berdine met jimson at parkway on fri... I was there too... as in I was at parkway too but din get to see him. From what I heard from berdine, he changed a lot... like became very pale, huge eyebags... looks like.. drug addict? My heart literally sank when I was told that. I think I will probably cry if i see him la. Jimson Zheng. He was such a young fine man. good-looking.. basket-baller... intelligent...whole life ahead of him... Why did he self-destroy himself just becos of his silly perception that he shouldn't bow to conformity, shouldn't be part of the chess set of the govt... yet he is not doing himself justice by doing some worthwhile deeds, proving the others wrong that he can be capable though he left dunman high... he is simply leaving himself to wither? I hope that after he moves on to a tertiary instituition, he will really take his life seriously, stop being overly-idealistic and work towards his goals... Sometimes, it really hurt a lot when u know ur good friend, someone u liked before has changed so much... that u prob couldn't recognise. =X

People change...

I still remember how i always post the lyrics of this song in my livejournal in the past. It is one of my favourite songs yeah.

Dear Little Princess...

hmmm. I should start from what happened on thurs. There was a class outing. We all bought tickets to watch this stage drama called "Electkra". yupps. They came to vj and did a demo few days ago. The performance was really enlightening. Esmond, a senior tsd, came with us. He needed to be there to act as a mentor and clear our doubts. Serene mentioned that although I am not in tsd, I seem to be learning the same stuff as them. haha. I agree! Esmomd added that it is good if I intergrate into the tsd environment, go watch plays with them, even though i quit tsd. yar. The drama really helped me gain new knowledge like dramatic potential, how the costume and mask deisgner come out with works that are symbolic of the characters. It was wow.

Of course, something unpleasant happened too. It got to do with someone in our class. I feel like telling him to get a life, and stop sucking up to the tsd seniors. like urgh. He was like waving to khairul during morn assembly, but of cos, khairul din respond. He told us he is khairul's fan and that the tsd seniors were all saying how they wish they were his mortals. oh come on come on. he's like trying to be mr nice guy and charm all those innocent classmates who were from girl schools with his generous, sweet acts. -puke- If u know what a back-stabber, creepy and cunning he is, you will probably think twice about knowing him in depth. -shrug- I am not being bitchy or whatever, but really... hai. just hope that perhaps he has changed?

and... there are cliques in our class. There is this group of girls who obviously felt very left out when we went for class outing. We went to hiagen daz and ate. I then realised the three girls were not with us. I didn't have their numbers so asked rowell and meridith, our two ct reps to sms them and tell them we are here. I mean, as ct reps, certainly u need to take some responsibility for class outings? you should not exclude ppl, should you? They couldn't be bothered. I was really infuriated. I heard that the three girls want to transfer to another jc after first three months becos' of our class. like darn saddening la. It's not possible for everyone to click. However, you should at least make an effort to talk to them, welcome them and not treat them as transparent. That was exactly what they did on thurs. Sometimes, yes, you might have the enthusiasm, the sense of weird humour, but that's not all what it takes to be a ct rep. You have to be sensitive to the others' feelings yeah. Goodness... and those three girls, I enjoy talking with them. one of them was my NEL buddy. They are really nice girls. It is not as if they are you know, irritating and bitchy or whatever. yar. Despite the bad thingys, there are still ppl whom I think deserve more like samantha, steph, bernice, tiffany, talia...

I went home late that day.. very late but enjoyed myself except from the part when I was really put off by certain someone. argh.

Friday!

haha. Yesterday, serene and I received a super nice letter from mortal. How ironical. but yeah. oh my, I didn't say who my mortal is right. A55 mortal, I mean. gosh. I am just so besotted and -lols- thrilled when I read the letter. At first I wasn't really that infatuated, haha... After I read the recent letter, I practically couldn't stop laughing when we saw him at the corridor outside tsd studios. I was like hiding my face with my hand and attempting to prevent him from seeing me laugh. sheesh. It will be darn obvious if he saw it. hahaha. ohhh. and I am so jealous and envious of serene!!! Under the crewing list, this particular group where serene and I are/were in.... my name was cancelled cos I quit tsd... oh mans. so wasted mans. I wanna crew for my mortal! hahaha. okays. pple, I am not usually like this. I can't help it this time. I wrote cos' I don't think any a55 seniors will come across my blog. so there... heez. I think serene and I are damn lucky -winks- actually, our motal is quite fortunate too cos he has such fab angels who think that he totally rox. =)


After school, serene and I was bumming around in the tsd designer room, then switched to the 'garden' behind cos don't wanna disturb the seniors(doing work) don't wanna become like certain someone, typical bootlicker. yups. realised I am kinda attached to the tsd room...^-^ haha. I think partly of the angel-mortal thingy, so we will always look forward to finding some notes from angel/mortal and then slack in the air-conditioned room, or rest at the tsd peeps territory, the 'garden'. whereas, I haven't stepped into the choir room before... seems a bit alienated to me. haha.
oh, serene was telling me that jie hui, year two tsdian, is very talented, singing and piano skills are damn pro. woah. and she is an outstanding actress too. I heard that cho is also very talented. still remember during the junior-meet-senior session, the a55 seniors did a "hello" chorus for us. hahaha. ^-^ I wish my class is as united as them. We are enthu, nevertheless, but we lack the harmony. booo. It takes time, i guess.

Anyway, the orientation bbq... was a bit sian at first but after the rest of flickmates and ogls arrived, we all became very hyper! I loveeee ORACLE. u guys rock la. haha. Chunyong, carol, weiteng, xinhui and I were gossiping in parkway before the bbq. hahaha. and of cos, sharing a lot of stuff about choir. You see, four of us were from choir except for xinhui. damn cool. Chunyong was telling me how cat high choir works. Caroline and I were like "huh... really ah". It's good that chunyong ended up in drama. It suits him. hee. ookays, the oracle went cycling at east coast park.. but i had to leave early to meet my family for dinner at thai village... dad's birthday! yup yups. quite sad that i couldn't stay,... bleah.. oh kelvin and verleen are so sweet. haha. They baked cookies for us... we were teasing them that when we eat the cookies, we could feel their love oozng in our mouths.... hahaha then we started crooning can you feel the love tonight. darn crappy la, my group. I am a bit scared of verleen, cos she seems kinda mood-swingy sometimes, like suddenly her face will turn black and yar... think mood-swingy pple very scary.. I used to think that I had mood swings too, then I realise my condition is actually very very mild. hahaha.


Messaged melody last night...I am glad she is feeling better now. I guess dhs ppl will always find certain difficulty fitting into the environment in RJ in the beginning. cheer up, ppl! =) she told me there will be a pb tuanbai! woohoo!!! Although student council has been formed to replace prefectorial board, but the spirit doesn't cease existing! heez. tuan bai means... going to mr kiw's house probably. ohh. I miss him in a way. Miss how he always tell his old grandfather stories. hahaha. I wonder how the student council is doing now, I hope they can continue to uphold school spirit and discipline and stuff. yar. It is damn sad to see dhs ppl with obvious dyed hair, super short skirts... yar. I mean. have our own identity la. although to other schools, we might be seem toot and stuff, but it is not either correct and original to do it THEIR way too. Of cos, some relaxation in the rules will be good... heehe. I realise my occupational hazard has almost wore off after being in vj... used to mentally group pple as "he2 ge2" or not "he2 ge2" whenever I walk past any students, dhs or not dhs. haha. Now I simply don't care. haha.

I shall update about today in the next entry... don't wanna squueze everything together.

Dear Little Princess...

Guess what? woohoo! I made it to vj choir! yesh yesh. very very happy!

However! kinda disappointed too. Immediately after the auditions, kwei was writing sth, (I bet it's marks, the guys said he usually grades ppl for auditioning) my heart kinda sank. I knew I didn't sing well, not up to standard. Not that my standard is very high, just not good la. Today, I have been telling my friends and classmates, that there is a lump in my throat. I feel very uncomfortable. I dunnoe what's happening. Beverly said I speak like I am having a sore throat. Then again it's not like normal sore throat. It's like there is something inside? a lump? ohh. whatever.

kwei gave some comments. He said my middle range got a bit of prob but as I sang higher and higher, I got better. He put me in sop two. Understandable. I really didn't sing well=S Even when singing, I thought I sounded like bleah. I sounded better for first audition. I think. At least I got in. =)

I am still thinking about how badly I have sung... argh.

okkays, let's start from the beginning. today... was a pretty okay day. I fell asleep for a while during econs lecture. very tired. I shall sleep early tonight. Other than that... hmmm. crashed tsd lecture! it is very fun and innovative. For other subjects' lectures, it is very teacher-oriented. For tsd, you will be grouped and ypu brainstorm... there were really very farfetched but fab ideas to explain the different processes of theatre. yar. One group refer it to as a constipation kinda thing.. another group liken it to a grain forming pearl in the end. cool! I was so afraid that I got found out but my clasmates were really understanding. I have a lot of free periods, so they just keep shush-shush about it and let me have a look of how's tsd is like.

After school, serene went for co prac so I hung around with Stephanie, samantha and talia and girl-talked with them... yupps! They are so cuteee. We were sharing stuff about our sec school and stuff. Stephanie said I looked like I am someone who is attached and one who goes clubbing often. I was like lol. ex dhs prefect eh. hahaha. I am guai, right? yeah. I am. haha. I bet some of u reading this will beg to differ but secretly in your hearts, you must be thinking, "actually hor... siying really quite guai la" ... =)

yar. went with beverly and fiona to the biz club tea party. I had nothing to do anyway, so must as well get myself exposed to diff ccas in vj. yeahh. Biz club is cool! It is manz. 75 percent of the newbies were from dunman high. dhs ppl are really money-minded. -shakes- The selling stuff thingy is very attractive... not the money and the points that appeal to me. It is the challenge. I just love organising and planning for stuff. Biz club makes me think of the entrepreneurship stall the psychedelics had set up last year. It was a hit! =) Anyway, back to the biz club, I am not sure I am joining. being in choir... kinda prevents u from joining second cca. yar. so... but it's really tempting. heez. we'll see how first.

I asked fiona to play the piano... do a bit of warms-up before audition. I sounded okay. so was glad. but I still felt there was sth in my throat and I really hate it. eurgh. met up with sheena and ling and the few yr ones and went to siglap to meet the rest. At first, I felt a bit extra, cos I was not in choir yet... then yeahh. I did warms-up with them... and listened to them sing the first two songs. The last song easier to sight-sing or is it the second last song, I sang with them. haha. yar. It was freezing then. ohhh. and I was the first to be auditioned. Usually, during auditions, I always end up being the last in the queue. okays, no relation. Basically, I didn't like how i sound, hmmm... ohh. Last time in dhs, during auditions, my heart would always beat very fast. I think I have overcome that. haha. I just focused on a point and sang. yar. u know what, i think i sounded kinda throaty during the audition just now. yar. I was... yucks. Please let the lump disappear soon. I hate it.

Last of all, must thank all my seniors and friends! u peeps rock. ^-^ Thanks mayling for the endless encouragement, sheena for the squeeze before the audition, jien, jessie, peixun, serene, berdine, cheryl and my classmates who threatened me that I better get into choir cos i quit tsd for it... hahaha! and hmmm... jiayun too! shihui, zhou chu, caroline, steph, pei en! you girls simply rockkk. ohh.. and weilin, kaiwen, shaun and chin leng who asked me how the audition was and told me it would be okkayy. and ziyi who smsed me and asked too! hahaha. I will be their juniors again. soo very cool.

I am happy now. I thought I will have not much reaction but I did. haha. It's finally over. Bye bye, tears. Bye bye, sadness. It's an ending yet a new beginning. YEAH.

I am a vj chorister.

Decided to post a second entry cos' I'm feeling weird about people and life and everything under the sun. It is one of those days.

Split of a moment

Rattle, rattle, rattle
The Bone.
Off-white
with blotches of yellow,
ever since when...
I did not notice.

Split of a moment,
I heard it crack.
It tweaks.

Split of a moment,
I shut my ears,
closed my eyes.

Split of a moment,
a shudder tingled down
My spine

Split of a moment,
it is robbed away.
I, stunned,
time rolls by
and again.
and again.

Rattle, rattle, rattle

a kettle in my head
Closely follow the sound

Rattle, rattle, rattle

Furiously, I dig.
The soil in an uproar
A grain goes into my eye,
the other's stuck in the hair.

I dig.
I D-I-G.

I couldn't find the bone.
Not in its hiding place,
nor even under the cypress.

It was gone.
No more.

No more.



shall wake up earlier to do warm-ups. tired.

Dear Little Princess...

woah. I think the class blog that I have set up is really sweet and pretty. I love it. hahaha. feel like kopping the blogskin. oops. =) I likeee my class. 05A55 rocks.

School was pretty okay for me. Basically. I have been daydreaming throughout. Serene commented that I looked dazed. During lectures and tutorials, my mind will drift off to the choir audition tommorrow. Serious. It has been plaguing my head...

The rest of the class went for tsd workshop while I went out with the psychedelics, Jien, Peixun, Jessie and Yayan. yeahh! Miss yayan dearie. haha. We went to sakae sushi and had out sumptous dunch. hee... and we were sharing stuff about our school and orientation. Yayan is an avid chinese lover mans. She actually takes history in chinese. oh gosh. Imagine writing history essays, source-based in chinese... goodness. oh, told jien and co. about my change in subject combi, the first thing peixun said was," So stupid... if I were you..." She trailed off. She wants to take tsd but since she appealed through band, she couldn't. yar. Then later she added, "Siying, I very pei fu ni... really... for your passion... I really admire u..." Jien was nodding her head furiously away. To write it here, it's kinda bhb, but there's nothing to be boast about. Out of the blue, I thought of what kiw said, "you3 shi1 bi4 you3 de2, you3 de2 bi4 you3 shi1". It is my fave line. U lose something, you gain something in return and vice versa.

I lost tsd.

Anyway, jessie seems to have a bottomless pit. Guess how many bowls of chawamushi she had eaten? FIVE. gosh. haha. But she's still as pretty and slim as ever and she has no comments unlike the other three. It's very typical of yayan to say that I am stupid... hahaha. expected. After contemplating for a while, she said that she would probably do what i have decided if she were me. heez. The girl has got the passion. ^_^

Read xueling, diane, rach's blogs... I feel like going back to dhschoir. I wanna see the sec ones. They have finished auditioning the sec one boys. Reminded me of last year when we auditioned the lil' boys, trying to carry out a propanganda how good choir is. hahaha. Those were the days. Some of the kids though, were really ill-mannered. urgh. I hope they get some good male voices to revive dhschoir. woohoo~ miss my juniors. Hope they are coping well. It still seemed weird to me up till now that I am no longer in dhschoir. yar. ohh... where is my autograph book??? I asked the juniors to circulate among them... hope they have not lost it.

oh yar oh yar! This is exciting! I most probably will be signing up for writer's circle, school mag or biz club. Getting the psychedelics to join me too... yupps. We used to discuss about writing and literature in 4D! The sharing notes part, the arguments(i love it!!!) was so cool. I hope in vj, I will be able to enjoy that too. I don't like selfish muggers. I have a principle that all good things must be shared. If you keep to yourself, it is more or less deemed as useless as time rolls by.

I must smile and stop thinking so much. It will be okay. It will be all right. what weilin has told me, i have to take that in mind, is that I have to be prepared to face and accept the verdict.

Dear Little Princess...

I just smsed rashez not long ago that I am no longer in tsd and asked to help me tell those seniors whom I am supposed to be crewing for. This is the worst bit. I have been looking forward to helping the seniors with their exam pieces. yeah... told her that if they need more help, I will be more willing to extend my hands, yeah. Tsd or no Tsd.

This morning, Mr Yang came to tell me I could start attending geog lessons. woah. I didn't know my tsdian identity is stripped off with immediate effect. I couldn't even attend the first workshop held on tuesday. yup. I told my classmates that I changed my combination. They were all pretty shocked.

Lectures were pretty okay. I didn't fall asleep. =) I seriously think that the Maths teacher is quite boring. The literature teacher is kinda... I don't know. I can't seem to connect with his teaching style. Pe was all right. I believe cos' it is a mass pe lesson and it was raining, so they simply let us stay in hall and do push-ups and stuff.

After school, I tagged along with Serene to the odac briefing. It seemed darn cool! I don't mind joining them for the camp. I love camping! sometimes, just a lil' irritated cos of the mosquitos, that's all. yeah. Serene urged me to go for a demo by an external theatre group in the studio. All the tsd peeps were there. I felt guilty and uneasy to be there. and that DUMBARSE ROWELL SOON!!! what the hell he think he was doing... argh. He whispered quite loudly, asking me whether I crashed the tsd studio. I don't know whether he is acting blur and innocent or what. The tsd senior who is like between us were looking at me strangely and frowning in a bemused way. He is totally embarassing me. Can't he let me enjoy my last day of being a tsdian peacefully? argh. I felt like bashing him. I think he did it on purpose. eurgh. I was still complimenting him to serene earlier that he might not be such an annoying guy after all.

Anyway, the demo showcases the story of macbeth, together with indian classical ballet... It is like a fusion of asian arts! fabulous! yupps. The realm of theatre studies and drama can be so broad... Mr Lofthouse told the year twos, they should be finding their roots, and focusing on asian arts cos that's what the western examiners are interested in. I learnt something new today. =)

ookays, i shall end off here. very tired. serene and I shared the same mortal. haha. cos our class has more people than the senior class. serene girl, u better control and contain your excitement... she was so obvious, showed her ecstasy blatantly to Ruth and co. goshhh. I wonder what we can do for our mortal. blah. I better wake up earlier tommorrow and read some of my old argumentative essays... to get myself in the writing mood. Tmr first two period, have to write gp essay... argh. I find gp very interesting... but i don't wanna write early in the morning. it sucks.

Didn't have a good sleep last night.
semi-conscious.
thinking about all the things I would have missed.
In tsd.
The cheering in the hall
for the slight mention of tsd.
Having the eligibility to step into the studio, black box.
very cool places.

i love being a tsdian
for the past few days.
exclusive.
creative.
risk-taker.

the fabulous seniors
who are all and allowed
to be over-achievers.
popular and great speakers.
I won't even have a chance
to crew for them
and slog out for them.
I like hard work.
was thinking that this weekend,
I will be doing some research
on drama sequence and stuff.
to prepare me for the lesson
but looks like I will never have a chance to do that.
Theatre study and drama...
reuben lai said before, I should try out drama
after the maria role in the musical in sec two.
now i have decided to give up for choir.


Choir.
Choir.

If I haven't experienced the feeling of being a tsdian
I will have picked choir in the first place.
I am thinking, if I really get in on wednesday,
will I be happy?
will I be as ecatastic as I thought I will be initially.
The answer...
is No.
I still love singing.
But i think at the very juncture,
I know I am in,
I won't be screaming, and dancing, and smsing my good friends
who know I love choir to bits.
I will be thinking of all the tears I have shed.
Embarassment.
Mrs Low who have kindly helped me and I betrayed her
and myself.
I hate myself
sometimes.
such a cheaterbug.

I don't think it's impossible still.
even student councilors make it
what more vj choristers...
but dear vj choir conductor
is possesive, wants full commitment
to choir and only choir.

I wish I have the courage to give up choir
for the sake of tsd.
I wish I do.
Some ppl use choir as spare tyre.
but I am using Tsd as one.
I feel so unclean.
I feel so dishonest.
I feel so guilty.

ling said I won't regret it.
I hope so.
I have seen a glimpse of how vj choir is like.
entrances me.
have been wanting to join the choir
since sec two, I believe.

Now I am so close
and yet so far...

I miss dhschoir.
There used to be stuff like that
that made me cry.
could be the pple in choir
or the choir tchers
or the helplessness I faced
trying to ignite the spirit of choir
or the times when I felt so wronged
by lokie.
It was still a home
with arguments, quarrels, conflicts
and JOY.

I will be busy but happy in tsd too, won't I?
I will be busy but happy in choir too, won't I?

Mr Lofthouse said sth before which I kept trying to conceal...
so as to remain in self-denial.
He said that he doens't think any ccas will stop us from joining tsd.
If there is, we should seriously considering dropping the cca.

I never wanna write this out when he first said it
on the second day of school.
cos I hope it will never happen.
that I will never have to think about it.
There is certain credibility to mr lofthouse's words.
Yes.



I can't.
I can't do it.


No matter how I let mr lofthouse's words blast in my brain,
I already have the key to the secret chamber.

I have a blueblack on my leg.
accident-prone me tripped at the vj foyer
-ouch-




P.S
Just a moment ago, I looked at my mom.
I feel like spilling everything out to her.
But I don't want to trouble her.
She always let me make my own decisions
and I am the kind never give her any trouble
with my academic stuff kid in the family.
I wish I am never so strong-headed
in the first place.


Beneath the strong facade, is a helpless, crying soul, her hands outreached to be blessed with hope and love and strength to take on challenges like she always did...

Dear Little Princess...

Today was an ultra fabulous day.

Near the noon, shihui, grace and I met up with weilin, calvin, shaun, ziyi, kaiwen at k-box... grace didn't go in the end. The guys were damn high. =) I didn't sing much. My voice was having a psychological retreat. was very impressed with shaun's real voice... hahaha. His version of "breathe easy" was cool. His voice is suitable for singing pop songs. =) Basically, I listened to them lose their voices gradually... ahaha. Later chin leng, the choir bass sl, joined us. After what he said, I actually felt very disheartened. especially, at the time, shaun started singing, "go the distance", my eyes were brimming with tears instantly. It's been ages since I have seen ziyi so crazy and hyper. haha. suddenly, I miss the old dhschoir days.

After the karaoking, walked around in popular bookstore, was searching for maths tys, but it was not available... so I continued circling there, thinking and thinking... until serene arrived. we went to hunt for black clothes and headed back to vj for tsd performance. She has to usher. I didn't cos' I don't have my blacks on... and the reason is cos' of some stuff that happened in the morning. tsd performance was stunning! it was quite short though. My favourite is the "china doll" monologue... The actress grasped the character very well. oooh! Serene and I were like the most helpful and die-hard tsd juniors. All the other year ones left, we were still asking the seniors whether they needed any assistance. yupps. asked ruth about the angel-mortal thing. she is so cute and pretty! hahaha. ohh.. and dearie serene and I have nicknamed someone "chums". haha. when we walked past him, couldn't help but laugh. I have enjoyed the tsd performance. yeahs.

I have left the worst for the last. This morning, I woke up much earlier to do warm-ups. was really getting excited... All seemed promising when nelson kwei said the crucial words that broke my heart.

My heart hurts now by the way. It is the kind of feeling similar to...

Anyway, when nelson kwei said he doens't accept tsd ppl, I was still quite calm. It was till he said he won't hear them, this is when tears started flowing down my cheeks. of course, I kept it in control. After nelson's talk, i was wiping my tears away, and thinking of escaping to somewhere but shihui saw my tears. so once she gave me that sympathy look, my defence gave way. I can't help it. It's damn embarassing. but yeah. goodness, I don't know. The one step away from vj choir i am talking about has actually been dismantled. i hung around there to wait for shihui and grace. Before we left, the ex-year zeros actually had a reunion singing session. It didn't sound very very nice, but it was really spirit-lifting. yar. year zeros rock. I don't like being year one.

serene of cos, will want me to remain in tsd. She did sense in a kinda way that I already have my own answer. I am like obsessed with choir. hai. She urged me to sms cheiren. He gave an objective opinion at first then after that encouraged me to join choir. It is quite a surprise, thought he will say tsd cos' he is an ANTI-CHOIR senior. was really happy that finally someone asked me to go for it. He said if that what u want in the very first place, go for it. Perhaps, those days when i try converting him to a fellow enthu choir member really freaked him out so much that he thinks i will be better off with choir. Everybody would say, tsd is a subject, choir is a cca. I know. That I know. Yet I am letting my heart control my mind.

Again, i need to pass the audition on wednesday... Currently, my confidence is being crushed now. i don't think i can even sing well. hai. fellow classmate, jamie is in the same situation as me. I honestly didn't have a good first impression of her cos of her "whatever" kinda attitude. but she seems very ON abt choir. She decides to quit tsd right away. That brave girl... I can't. My mind just went blank. when ling came to the toilet and said all the stuff... about can always come and watch them perform and there are lots of other ccas in vj.

i was thinking,i don't want, i don't want, I don't want.

I'm afraid these few days, I will be feeling quite crazy. u see, the reverse effects work for me. I'm ultra tired now. going to slp. -boo-


P.S jimson has been keeping in touch with me recently. That guy always appeared and disappeared all of a sudden. hahaha


P.P.S I MISS DHS~

Dear Little Princess

I must chop chop finish writing this. I have many stuff to pen down but I need to sleep early today. No kidding. tml is very important. wanted to say stuff like sea regatta, everyone being dunked into water, chunyong and andre's blossoming affair, our ogl couple, another ogl and his friend, og lunch, people kept asking me about me being tanned... blah blah. cannot elaborate. Just wanna say...

I am very touched. Thanks ling a lot! really. =)

Night, ppl. wish me luck and pray for me.

Dear Little Princess...

Everytime I write that starting line, I will wonder whether it sounds childish. oh well, I love addressing to imaginary characters.

Today is the best! Hmmm. In the morning after assembly, there was house meeting. Yongsheng, ex-dhs was our vice-captain. ursa is cool. I heard that it is a pretty strong house. ohh. and there will be some cross-country thing and everyone has to run. I don't mind running as in running alone, with my sis or friends. but I don't like cross-country and certainly not 3.2 km. booo. Other than that, I look forward to more inter-school events. yupps!

I was lip-synching quite often today because of the choir audition. I was enthu, got the kinda facial expression and body langauge, just that I don't want to scream. of cos, there are times when I can't resist. -oops- haha.

I can feel the vj spirit all over me, all over me, all over me.

Before the audition, Caroline and I actually didn't really eat our lunch. ookays, we ate about three mouthfuls or a bit more. That's all. I don't really like the food. It was very dry and seems prickly. hahaha. We watched the vj choir performance in the hall. They sounded really soft but it was quite normal. In a hall... and with people streaming in and out... people teeming... I have to add, despite that, I can hear CALVIN. yars, quite distinctively. The few of us, those who wanna join choir, like shihui and the carolling peeps, sat right -smack- in the centre part of the hall. We were listening to them eh, trying to make out the words and tune especially for the last song. The carolling peeps, we were all singing Gaudete while being the audience. feels shiok.

I joined the tkss choir peeps for warms-up. Marcus, the ex tkss sc, took us. Sue lynn and joshua were shaking their heads... haha. Suelynn was like.. no need warms-up, should be okay. The tkss peeps definitely did not need the warms-up. They were kinda confirmed in. Anyway, the choir audition was less intimidating than I expected. Perhaps it was cos' I had it at the choir room rather than at LTAVA. Jianhao and one girl whom I can't recognise, auditioned the peeps at the choir room. so mainly scales. in fact, only scales. Am I supposed to sing as he plays each note or what? Shihui told me she sang as he played. I didn't. I sang after he played. was quite bewildered. I thought he meant it that way. maybe he did. wanted to test me since i was in carolling? err. so since i sang after he played the notes, I was very afraid that I went out of pitch. When I first started I sounded airy and HOARSE. goodness me, I tried to support more and I 'finished' the keyboard. I thought my lower range was better. Firmer. I don't know.

yups! The next part was erm... the INTERVIEW. Sheena brought me to this control room in LTAVA. There were lucas, ben tan, mary and joshua... The guys were using this indian accent when speaking. comical. And they asked crappy questions. hahaha. yar. Before I left, ben tan said tonelessly, that I was being filmed. I didn't thought much of it. haha. I thought he was joking. discovered it was true from shihui! she actually bent down and said hi to the camera hidden somewhere. GOODNESS. oh mans. outofthemind. It was fun, anyway. hee.

oh yess! and I got through the audition! I was shortlisted but everyone had to go for a second audition on Sat. hmmm. sth like cos' nelson kwei didn't hear everyone. The results list kinda creeped me out. They didn't arrange the names according to order of appearance or by alphabetical order. I was near the bottom of the list just before the few appealed peeps. Maybe I am one of the those mayling was talking about whom they are unsure of accepting. Perhaps I think too much. I can't help it, u see. It's weird. hmmm.

I am one step away from vj choir. One big step. One crucial step. and... that's it. GOSH. I better not flop the audition on sat. =)

I wanna join vj choir.
I wanna join vj choir.

I chant this to myself silently every day man.

I still have a lot of things to write about orientation today... but it's really getting early. I lack sleep. eyebags forming... so shall continue tmr.



fake cca .station games. wet. not enough.voscar awards. champion. high and dancing.orion oracle. the choir gettogether.tsdgalanight

Dear Little Princess...

Firstly I will like to mention something... hmm. I just read Lucas's blog and he wrote something on the tsd-choir thingy. Touched. That's the word. I don't really know him. yeah. Thanks for that anyway. I am not alone.

if u want to join both. join both. i will not believe its impossible. if u have a strong passion and a strong will nothing is ever impossible. you can quote me. join both.

Coincidentally, I was thinking about the word IMPOSSIBLE in bus this morning. yesh. I let my thoughts wander. I remember what Mabel told me before, in the word, there is actually a hidden message to indicate, "I M POSSIBLE". After that particular thot flashed in my mind, I felt more serene and composed.

I M POSSIBLE


Today was HAPPENING yeah! Met up with the civics tutors... I have gotten Mrs Low!!! YAYY. =) and Mr Yang whom I am not very amused by... haha. ohh. The senios came to our class for intro session. They gave us snacks and told us lots of A55 stories. I adore them! Can 'adore' be the word? The tutors added that 04A55 is the best arts class and even better than some of the science classes and that they are many high-achievers in that class... student councilors, national runner, smartest peeps in arts blah blah... I hope 05A55 can live up to that standard. Quite a number of my classmates seem quite stoned. Come on, guys, let rox the V-J-C !!! yeah. I won't wany my class to turn out like a sterotypical science class... We shall be the traditional arts ppl. Crazy, fun-loving and noisy!!! =) OH, and we are playing angel-mortal game with the seniors! cooool. I hope I get... yar. hahaha.


There were a whole string of activities later. I love the mass dances! coool. The music is still running in my head. oh mans. I was once again a crazy woman, jumping up and down, being enthu, waving hands abt in the air. I love being HIGH, BOISTERIOUS and PERKY! It's so me. yeah yeah. haha. of cos, I controlled my screaming. as in when cheering, I don't shout out the words yeah. I need to reserve voice for audition.

I signed up for the ISes! argh. I can't wait to start crewing for the seniors. I only pick currently four attachments. I am afraid I can't cope. I have to be economical. have to see how things go. yup but I don't mind helping more seniors if I can. I love TSD.

It makes me feel SPECIAL.

yeah. during OG meeting when we left alone, I was in seventh heaven and the bossy spirit was pushing itself to the brim. So I jumped up and started trying to coordinate stuff for the voiceovers peeps. They were making futile efforts to shout across the LT to the scriptwriters. I was so irritated that I decided to take charge... haha.

I am hyper. I am up in the sky.
I am emerging.

We went for OG dinner after the programme. It rocks. suggested to yeesha that we should have a flick cheer. hahaha. So we thought of one after the dinner... at PARKWAY PARADE CARPARK. crazy right. but we did that. We saw people making out in their condo apartment from the carpark. Since the condo is ooposite the carpark and we were at the highest level. We could see, assumbly, man and woman kissing. This was proved as bullshit becos' the guys were saying the two chars there were both men. I was laughing till my sides hurt. dunnoe whether they are really making but oh well... hee.

ohh. I was tellin Caroline that the student councillor, Nigel, looks like Gabriel from vj choir. She totally agree with me. The height, complexion, built... and the way they lead. Are they twins? hahaha. cos we were not the only two. Even chunyong from cat high choir when he was toking to us much later on, did raise that Nigel looks like Gabriel! Hahaha. yar. yes and croline discovered something about the two alto cat high boys. erm. They are... hahaha. damn gay eh.

Orion dominates the school. We are champion currently. hip hip hoooray. If this goes on, we will win the VOSCAR AWARDS tmr!

I have been thinking abt CHOIR AUDITON, being thrilled over it until now... woohoo! I am fearful, nervous... I hope my high notes will not screw up tmr. I need to have a good range. After Kaiwen told me abt his experience, I got cold feet. yes. I hope I can get in. (my heart is pulsating away in a haphazardly mode)

k, gd nite!

Dear Little Princess...

I am drained. argh. lethargic. poor OGLS... I wonder how they can be so enthusiastic till the end.

Anyway, today was like a roller coaster ride for me... I was more energnetic, screamed higher, louder, basically, I begin to have that vj spirit in me. =) Everything was quite fine until... they called us for TSD General meeting at the new studio. The new studio was damn cool and I really have a lot of respect for the seniors. They are professional, serious when it comes to theatre works. Their voices turned sharp and sombre when we came to the studio. It was like their 'sacred' place. yeah. The studio was really... impressive-looking. so after a round of introduction. Honestly, I was intimidated. TSD is such a heavy commitment yeah. u know, I am going to put geog lit econs and maths as first choice because of choir... Then the tchers said there are no cca blockages. Imagine my euphoria at that moment! Today, when the seniors spoke to us at GM, they were SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE. u know... it was more of the disappointment, the hopes crushing... that really get on my nerves. I was prepared to take geog the first day I was in vj yeah. What the tsd tchers said... built up my hopes again.. that's why I chose TSD again but -piang- everything was gone again. arghhh! so being.. confused, I asked the tsd tcher, he was telling me it is possible and he had
soccer players who trained every night, but still managed to cope with TSD.

of cos, I wasn't that reassured. so... while sitting in the hall, half-listening to the talks, I was pondering over this problem. Then cried a lil'. I mean freakkk, it's orientation, and one of the first few days, I am already feeling so DOWN. I smsed ling and it was very clear tsd and choir don't exist together... if you are in tsd, choir doesn't accept you. So during that period of time, one moment, there was this me that emerged and said... maybe I should just pull out of TSD and take Geog... anyway TSD sounds kinda foreign and scary and time-intensive. I shouldn't do something that is so unstable. Yet another side of me were reprimanding myself for such thoughts. How could I ever think this way... I must be daring to take risks, to try new stuff and to unravel whatever is in me... I have to find the edge over others. and their stuff sounds really cool... Choir... maybe it's time for me to venture into other ccas.

Caroline accompanied me to find the tsd tchers after the talks. She said she would definitely persuade me to join choir if she responded a lot to my dilemma and made me even more confused. haha. so she said.. " okay okay, I'm not going to talk anymore.." when she found herself siding more towards the choir side. Jien told me to give up tsd and pick choir because..."Then what cca u join?" with an "oops" added later. I understand. =p I can't imagine myself (neither could my friends, that's why) in other ccas... maybe english drama or some club... then again?

Anyway, this time around, it was Mrs Low. She was really really niceee. Her tone was really reassuring. She told me no one can block you from joining a cca and she said she would help speak to the choir tcher i/c. and... she said she would fight for me. bah. was touched... a huge rock was lifted off my chest. right now, I am keeping my fingers crossed. It's not like I am being idealistic and taking whatever I want. I did, throughout these two days, as the tsd seniors described to us the hectic schedule, imagined in my the stress I would be facing.. as in literally.. I can feel that heavy lump choing up your throat... yesh.. and I visualised the pracs I would have and stuff if I am in choir... u know... yar. I expect stress, crying, breaking down. If I don't, I am not siying... ohhh.. weilin just told me can change combi during first three months. okays, so phew. whatever it is, I still have to go through audition yeah... I am going for audition no matter what happens. for the sake of trying.. and maybe if i really cannot get in... that audition shall prob ends my five years of being a chorister. haii. how sad.

today's orientation... was a lot of sweating and fun... I was like a mad woman (initially), jumping and screaming and waving my hands about in the air. I have a very crazy side, which a lot of people can't relate me to... u know, I look serious and quiet. hahaha. yupps. It was fun! Orion rox! Oracle ROX. learned more mass dances... wahhh. couldn't remember them well except the whiny whiny... oh... and I am in URSA. the yellow house! woohoo~ not bad. =)


I really really really want to join vj choir. Whenever I see biying, ling, gracia or any other choir peeps, I will feel like bashing myself up... like I will be missing out on a lot of stuff if I don't consider choir... i enjoy carolling with them. yupps. I guess let the audition speaks for me. If i can't even make it through the audition vocally, well then it's not the tsd-choir issue anymore. so yar... cheeeer up!!! It's orientation man. -smiles- I think the best part of my personality is I can cry and throw a fuss, but when it's over, it's time to pick myself up again!
-megawatt smiles-





P.S
Boy: Won't there be time clashes?
TSD tcher: you will have clashes with ur wife in the future, won't you?

Tsd tcher: u want to do maths, physics, chemistry... sth 18000 people in s'pore will be taking?

[Talk] quote from patch adams the movie
Look beyond the problem
See what people fail to see

Dear Little Princess...

I am v v v v v SLEEPY. okays, but I havent't update for days, i don't want to stock up what I want to write. don't have such great brainpower.

Anyway, on the first day of 2005, my family and I went for ah wee's birthday party... was very tired. bummed around there with josephine and her lil' cousins. I realise she is really good with the kids. suggested her to be a childcare teacher in the future. haha. seriously. oh, then josephine's group of friends came! oh mans, I MUST mention this k. u know the tv show, liu xing xiao yuan... anyway, the Singapore Poly's xiao cao, is Josephine's good friend and he came that day! goshh! He is darn cute. Cuter real live than on TV, even my mom said so. When he arrived, my mom was like, "Hey, Xiao Cao!" How did my mom ever remember and recognise someone from such a teenybooper show... hahaha. He just politely lifted up his hand and acknowledged it. He is cute cute cute... and tall and well-built. gosh. I'm so smitten. haha. I must ask that girl to go pick up driving soon, so that can ask her to drive me around...

ookays! I am an officially a Victorian at least for the first three months! Hip hip hooray! I was rather pissed with the admin... cos' there were some year ones in Arts Fac who were facing some difficulties registering cos' their names were not in the list. It was quite horrid. I was thinking, why does it happen to arts people only. and they put us at the end of concourse with one sign labelled as ARTS and before it, there were a long line of Sciences. We seemed ostracised. booo.

Then we went for the talk about the Arts fac and the various subjects it offers... hahaha. I heard that the science fac talk was very boring and people were falling asleep. The arts fac talk was cool especially the TSD tutors. HILARIOUS. Beverly and I were analysing their faces, and whether they look like what they are teaching. sounds dumb. but haha yeah, it was fun.

This is the HIGHLIGHT. I put TSD as first choice. TSD MATHS ECONS LIT. yeah. I was thinking of putting geog in place of TSD until I cleared up my doubts with the TSD tutors. They said it is rumour, myth that if you are in this or that cca, you can't join TSD. It is formed cos' of peer pressure. So I went ahead and put what I want. yar. I am not 100 percent sure what I am up against, but I can already sense the stress piling up if I am in choir as well in TSD. The tutors told us told us about what we will have to do in TSD, being a crew to Yr twos, juggling your own studies at the same time... yeah. I hope I can pull it through and... EXCEL. excel as in in terms of maturity, way of thinking, attitude towards life, stress management, balance of life... These two yrs are for me to discover who I am, aren't they?

Talking about choir... I am in oracle, orion... and Caroline too! what a coincidence. so I have someone to stick to yeah. She is easy-going... and nice to talk to. Carolling buddy. Anyway, she is CONFIRMED a vj chorister. GOSH. I want that too! well... she got 12 for prelims, appealed through choir, has conductor's recommendation for backing, got into science with 4 subjects! How lucky is that? lucky girl. Maybe it's that I am unlucky... I have ten points and I can't make it to Science... of cos' I know I will be happy in ARTS. It's just the old kinda sore feeling about REJECTION. and for the sake of peeps like Sung Nian, it's kinda unfair? He got ten pts, very good in maths and sciences. u get what I mean, yeah... of cos, not pinpointing on caroline alone, I am not evil. just accessing the situaton generally... She is a lovely girl, and I think she must have her own special vocal powers to be able to appeal through choir =) yar.. I was complaining and lamenting to her... I am not yet a Vj chorister and I still have to undergo audition/s. This is so bleah. wonder when's the cca orientation... think it's on thurs or sth. hope I will improve. ^-^
-tada-

I feel so excited like throughout the whole day. At a point of time I felt like crying.. not lonely or homesick or whatever... cos' of the TSD-Choir thing. It is a HUGE decision to make. yar. I like the expat tutor! He was like..." TSD... Is for people to take risks.. u don't want, go go go, go do maths." He was quoted saying.. we pple have a theatre of the mind. Like for example, ur tcher asked you about the work, deep within, u feel like saying," Forget to do lah. Get LOST", however, the words that utimately roll to the tip of the tongue and OUT, are " Sorry, sir, I will give to u asap". This is beacuse... our mind has an audience of its own. Before something is said out, the thing has to go through the audience who will either give good or bad comments, and decide whether the 'something' ought to be broadcast.

My flick was kinda enthusiastic today, really enjoyed the mass dance. coool. I kinda like vj more and more, adjusting to it. I'm a victorian....


=)

Dear Little Princess...

okays, I know I should be sleeping now but I am studying music k. haha. Anyway, what I did yesterday, new year's eve, was totally different from what I planned. I didn't hide at home from the crowds. I went out with my sis! I couldn't resist. =) returned jo's call. She was a lil' snappish and moody. I was taken aback. darn, I was thinking... and I felt like slamming the phone on her. I didn't, of course. I understand jo is very sensitive and people always have their off-moments. smsed berdine, asked her abt jo... was already on my way to suntec... Turned out that berdine also needs to be enlightened. (kai dao) yar, so decided to sms joanna myself... and yupp. she had her nap and woke up, feeling more peaceful. Thank God. I think u know.. sometimes, when we feel that it's damn unfair, unjust... why is it me me me... we have to do some adjusting ourselves... to attain the balance. I messaged jo a lot of crap, wonder whether I did make sense. -bleah-

yeah.. anyway, went to eat sakae with my sis... she treated me! hahaha. I treated her to ice-cream and movie in return. We watched Phantom of the Opera. I like the movie... although it was a bit long-winded somewhere in the middle... but -ouch-, it is very touching. I was like clasping my hands and holding my breath at the climax.... oh and I shed a bit of tears. Poor Phantom yeah... He has been ostracised since young as a devil's child because he is deformed. yearn of someone to love him... to care for him... -sigh- His love for Christine becomes extreme... and he turns dangerous. That's why we have terrorists in the world. Their love for their religion, God, revolve on a different pivot altogether. They begin to hurt, to kill, to destroy utimately themselves. argh. I always digress. Then again, I am gkad he did the right thing by letting go... He really loves her then.

Later we met up with our parents whom took us to the taiwanese porridge near stadium walk there for supper. I told my sister not to go for countdown at esplanade. hahaha. It was around eleven plus. I didn't wanna be stuck in a crowd... The best time to head home was then, cos everyone else was waiting for the arrival of 2005. so that's that. I didn't watch tiv, never clear my room... BUT GUESS WHAT?

I BOUGHT LEEHOM'S ALBUM!!!

I am just amazed at his talent. dumbstruck. I won't reccomend this album to everyone. Depends on your musical taste. jj lin's second album has mass appeal. I think it sounds nice and pleasant to everyone. Leehom has his own sound. I watched his video that showcased his trip in china where he recorded some of the oldest, authentic chinese music. I was very doubtful about how he was going to mix everything together. After listening to his album for the second time, you will be blown away. cos' there are lots of snippets of musical effects which are derived from the music he recorded in China. -shakes- Very interesting indeed. I hope his "chinked-out" brand of sound really gets international limelight. It is more to the hip-hop/ r&b side... think of usher, justin timerlake... somewhere along that line but certainly very leehomlicious. haha. He has his own style like Jay Chou has his. Lee hom and Jay Chou are gonna make chinese pop music BING BANG BOOM. Then again, I miss the times when he used to strum the guitar and where he's more to the classical and conventional pop side. Then again, it is still very cool how he manages to juggle both western and eastern musical styles... It is a daring move. I think on the production area... creativity realm, he will get full marks. There was one part where he sang zing zing zing in a very Mongolian style... cool!
yeahh. He has very sweet ballads in this album too. -grins-

心中的日月
你是我心中的日月光芒

手中握著格桑花呀
美的讓我忘了摘下
妳的真 帶著香 妳的香 會說話
妳的話 好像只 對我說

我的專長叫做流浪
妳註定要為我綻放我的心
尋找家 我的家 沒有花我的花
卻在這山谷等著我

若一開始 沒有上帝 暗中偷偷的慫恿
我們怎知選擇相逢

你是心中的日月
落在這裡旅程的前後多餘
只為遇到妳多麼想幻
化成為妳腳下的泥
此刻的無人山谷
彷彿聽見說愛妳

你是我心中的日月光芒

我的漂泊不懂泥巴
妳的美麗不堪動盪
妳單純 我迷惘 妳戀家 我流浪
山谷中 這一切 帶不走

妳愛抬頭擁抱
陽光我得眺望下個前往
我走開 妳留下 我回憶 妳昇華
至少我們會仰望同一片天空

若一開始 沒有上帝 暗中偷偷的慫恿
我們怎知選擇相逢~喔
你是心中的日月 落在這裡
旅程的前後多餘
只為遇到妳
多麼想幻化成為妳腳下的泥
那天的無人山谷（那一天）彷彿聽見說愛妳


置身在 傳說中 人間天堂
妳是我 心中的 日月光芒
帶領我 找到妳 的芬芳
放不下

你是心中的日月 落在這裡
旅程的前後多餘 只為遇到妳
多麼想幻化成為妳腳下的泥
那天的無人山谷 彷彿聽見說愛妳
那天聽見說愛妳

With this chinese song from Leehom, known as 心中的日月, in English, which simply means Shangri -la, I hope everyone out there will do your best to seek the Shangri-la in your heart in the new 2005 ahead yeah. The figurative land can always materialise if we put in enough effort. Find your 日月, what you want to do... what ur inner voice has been telling to follow. yup. Fill your soul with hope and faith. -prays- for all the people who have suffered under the malicious tsunami and earthquakes and a moment of silence for those whose lives have been swept away by the merciless tidal waves. 2004 has been a wonderful year for me. I think every year is too... but a bit different cos' 2004 marks the end of my four years in dunman high... signifies the battery of departures and partings and tears and fears.

The embrace of 2005 with no fireworks doesn't mean darker days ahead, DOESN'T terminate the celebration.

We celebrate.
We do but with greater depth and respect.
We don't contend ourselves with things that could be seen.

We light the fireworks in our hearts.
We help to keep others' blazing...
Even till the last glimmer... we keep it going on.

Light the fireworks in your heart, not the ones in the sky. See them erupt into a stunning array of colours, hear their deafening peal, feel their fuzzy warmth as the sight of them always do induce... Feel them.

Could you visualise?
Have you?

Light the fireworks in your heart.
Leave the silhouette behind.


That's what the twenty-o-five is all about.

-peace-