I don't feel like a teenager anymore. Eighteen is really kinda old, yeah. I feel different. hmm. Totally in control of myself. haha. whatever that means. (:

Thank you to my friends and FAMILY. You guys made my day.

Thanks Mabel and Cheryl:D my august babies friends! Jien and Serene! What will I do without you girls? choosing colours, laughing at the weirdest things, like to be in the blackout, lovelit&tryingtolovemaths! For the lovely birthday celebration and I love the necklaces and pouch and balloon and white TULIP. You know my mom and her friends kept laughing at the tulip! The poor tulip can't escape from its fate of rotting. That is ok. Rotting tulip. I like it. It suits me. (Suddenly I just think that it is not the time for it to bloom YET:D)Diane, Xueling, Huping, Shixuan! All my choir juniors:D You guys actually remember my birthday! It is always heartwarming to receive smses from the dunmanians. I miss them. Thank you thank you. :D kunyi and haojonathan! surprise. Berdine and Joanna-WE HAVE A DATE, WOMEN! (: junboon and zhenhui! hahaha. the ns boys... Thanks for ur wishes. Melody, yayan-I haven't seen you all for ages! and MEL, thanks for the encouragement. Jessie, mikaela, steph(class), cheryl, sam! Thanks! The moment I think of you all, the image of how you guys often gush over those romantic films will plague my mind! I am goiing to watch sweet november one day! The choir girls and boys-weiling, caroline(sorry for not able to dine and chat with you, babe.) , steph, jiejun, jeremy yeo (representing pei en and jolencia too. Hoho.) peien, jeremy chia, kenny, jianhao... BIG THANKS! to the rest of the sopsies too of course.. th elovely bday celebration last week) yes and jeannette-my auckland chum! haha. Your super long sms! (: That was very sweet. (:


My family! .and my mom's friends. my aunts too! (: THANK YOU.
I hope I didn't miss anyone out. I love you all.




I have no big, crazy whoopish feeling this year. It is a newfound hmmm... state. I feel grown-up. :D







Well my dear SERENE and JIEN, I still can like 'I am the luckiest girl in the world'. HAHAHA.

I want to laugh and say "I am okay".





I am ok. :D

TIRED. -yawns- I have been the slackiest this week minus monday. Shit. I feel like I am not stressed and scared enough. Anyway... (: Wednesday was really nice. Thank you all sopsies, yr 1s and yr 2s. so sweet of you all. I really miss the girls. After the birthday celebration for the august babies(thanks for the gift and cake and your friendship!), Caroline, steph and I stayed back and talked for a while. ahhh. We already have plans after a'levels! We are going to busk! haha. Hopefully the rest of the yr 2s will be spontaneous to join us. Yr 1s's schedule will be too tight, I think. They are going to perform a MUSICAL! :D So cool! I want to sing and act as well... It's alright. I guess, I want more to feel the pride I know will surge upon me while enjoying the beautiful music my juniors will produce for PCC.


Everyone should see how fabulous the sops tee looks like. I am too lazy to take a photo and post it here. bah.


I don't why I am at this STRUCTURAL BOTTLENECK for my studies. Everybody thinks I am doing very well. -looks forlorn- I am not, really. I am not THAT dilligent. I am not hardworking and focused enough. Alright, enough nonsense. I am going to break through! ((:


I am relating everything to economics nowadays. laugh my socks off for my geog s essay. It is so convoluted and messed up. So RANDOM. I was like mix-and-match my economic concepts with geog theories, not that it is not possible, just that it becomes "imcomprehensible" in josef's words. The lit teachers' comments were encouraging. Miss Lo and Mr Harris. Sometimes, I think the teachers don't know that the comments they wrote or the compliments they pass, the slight acknowledgement they give of your effort can really brighten your day. It is like I feel, okay, maybe I am not that dumb or hopeless. I have a lot to prove, to express, to excel in. :D

What do you call today-

SUNDAY!

The advent of the impending MONDAY.

I have like Econs lect test tommorow and Geog MOCK exam on Tuesday. I don't mind the case study test, really. I appreciate the existence of a mock exam. It is going to coerce me to organise my thoughts and knowledge and every DETAIL regarding hydrology and deserts. oh damn. Why am I even writing about mundate stuff here???!!! okay, the secret is I am using this as a therapeutic session-to rest and recharge. I have a lot more to go and I told Ms Tham I "am going to practise past-yr questions" because she stressed to me again how I have to manage my time well when writing. Oh, me and my stupid mouth. I have done some outlines yet I feel like if I don't practise, like really PRACTISE, it is a bad sign and I am never going to move out of that pathetic shell. I have also promised myself to attempt an econs essay outline. What will Ms Tham say if I do badly again! NO MORE EXCUSES. I don't want to disappoint her or myself.

LOOK here, I am not stressed. (: I am merely MOTIVATED. :D



-end of session-

hm! I realise I could be living in a bubble too! Jien, I should join you in your bubble, oh no, I am already in your bubble. You know, I have BRAVE friends. :D I am so immensely proud of them. Not everyone can be so stubbornly rooted in their beliefs and go against all odds, backlashes, criticisms, take a risk and LOVE. (: I do not think I can do it. I can't. It is some old pride and the same stubborness (though for another reason altogether) acting up.

So brave! So brave! SO BRAVE.


I was moved in a very silly way and I was like going to cry. I don't know. Sometimes, we are too pessimistic, too realistic, too practical, too critical. Couldn't we just grasp the moments and be unbounded? Not living for the moment, but living THE MOMENT.

"I want to-I want to fall crazily in love."
-a dear friend on X/6/2006


sigh, I am kind of over-hyped, philisophical but in a very unnatural fashion? I think I live in a bubble protected by all brave friends and of course my beloved family. My friends who dare to love, and dare to feel the pain. I am such a weakling!!!


Happy birthday, mabel! I really miss u and cheryl. Happy BELATED birthday joanna. You look like a real woman now! Happy birthday, berdine! I hope you have a fabulous birthday:D Timeless watch for timeless friendship for timeless elegance. (: Happy Birthday chia! Stay BOBO forever. whee! :D



My brave people, goodnight.

After doing mathematics for a while, reading subjectif posts cracks me up. Everyone should visit the cosiety blog. :D I am very, very tempted to comment but I shall not. I shall not stoop down to making raw and unrefined allegations. It really highlights to me why "Singapore has always one of the highest rankings for maths and science but we do not produce top scientists and mathematicians".(Strait Times, 2006) EXEMPLARY.

For goodness sake, loosen up and have a bit of humour lah. :D Let's view things through rose-coloured glass. (:


National Day is coming! :D Fireworks! Merry Christmas!

What about little mircophones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls?

-"Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"-Jonathan Safran Foer



The volume is stagnant at number one, I'm afraid. Too many wavelengths of different frequencies. We still could not hear. (Can you?) Imbrolglio of heartbeats, dialogue. I wonder aloud, shouldn't there be no more guessing this way? Everyone- a happier person?



Too soft. Too much. You will not find what you mean to seek for.

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as dumb as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right It just ain't right
Oh when I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster


I really like this song! The version sung by Gayle Nerva. ((: I am having difficulty concentrating. Don't know why I keep having headaches. bah.


Such a beautiful disaster...